/* [li class='page_item page-item-35'][a expr:href='data:blog.homepageUrl + "feeds/posts/default"']Posts RSS[/a][/li]

Monday, August 29, 2011

And then the fight started......





My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, 'What's on TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive...
So, I took her to a gas station..
And then the fight started...

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********


My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and my wife
kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.
I asked my wife, 'Do you know him?'
'Yes,' She sighed, 'He's my old boyfriend.
I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' I said to my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...



************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
I said, "Naaah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********


A woman is standing & looking in the bedroom mirror.She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband,
'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started..... .

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.
And then the fight started....

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary? "
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* *********

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed..But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first: the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something more important to me.
Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.
'When you finish cutting the grass,' I said, 'you might as well sweep the driveway.'
And then the fight started...


Friday, May 13, 2011

I was a just-born and she was Twenty-Five





I was a just-born and she was Twenty-Five,
Though we were we, we were one.
I would cry out in Latin and she would respond in Greek,
I would learn nothing but she never got tired to teach.

I was surrounded by monsters eager to pull my cheek,
but they would vanish the moment I was wet and weep.
She would come running and hold me in her arms,
as if I had won the contest of the charms.

Now I was able to walk and chew,
and hey, I was two.
I and she could now understand each other,
I was her everything and she needed no other.

I would try to walk and fall down,
But knowing she was with me,
the fear of getting hurt was now gone.
We still could not converse that effectively,
But she would understand my needs so easily.

I could now roam about free,
because now I have turned three.
I was ready to join a new world,
my academic life was now gonna mould.

She would dress me as best as a prince,
but when I would come back,
she would need at least an hour to rinse.
I was now able to talk,
I was a ferry and she was my dock.

I still remember the child, whose shirt I had tore,
Hey buddy, I have turned four.
I now came home a little late,
Nevertheless finding her waiting at the gate.
She would hug me and carry me in her arms,
it felt like flying through the farms.
We now did the homework together,
I would spoil the home and she used to work.

Years passed and now I was fifteen,
and with each year I would forget to lean.
I wouldn't care for what she said,
because now I had become mean.
She would ask me to study for a good future,
but I was busy in a different culture.
Now I had many shes in my life,
I dreamed of having one of them as my wife.

I changed a lot which she did not teach,
She would try to hug me but I was out of reach.
She still waited for me at the gate,
but I would look at her with utmost hate.
She would be awake till late in the night,
because I wasn't home, I was in a fight.
She had so much to scold, but she never did say,
hoping to find me better the next day.
Time went on and now I am grown,
lost in the world of my own.

I and she, between us have a river,
I have left her for my career.
When I was young, for me, she sacrificed her ambitions,
but I don't care, I now have my own mission.
I am not with her now, I am in a different city,
she is so old now but I don't even pity.

She needs me now but I am nowhere to find,
in the race for appraisal, I have become blind.
In a few years from now, I will be two,
there will be in my life someone new.
Then I'll forget even to bother,
I am her son and she is my Mother.

-Unknown



Sunday, January 9, 2011

ALL THINGS SHALL PASS AWAY

Once in Persia ruled a king
Who upon his signet ring
’Graved a motto true and wise,
Which, when held before his eyes,
Gave him counsel at a glance
Fit for any change or chance.
Solemn words, and these were they:
“Even this shall pass away.”

Trains of camel through the sand
Brought him gems from Samarkand;
Fleets of galleys through the seas
Brought him pearls to rival these.
Yet he counted little gain
Treasures of the mine or main.
“Wealth may come, but not to stay;
Even this shall pass away.”


’Mid the revels of his court,
In the zenith of his sport,
When the palms of all his guests,
Burned with clapping at his jests,
He, amid his figs and wine,
Cried: “Oh, precious friends of mine,
Pleasure comes, but not to stay —
Even this shall pass away.”

Lady, fairest ever seen,
Was the bride he crowned his queen.
Pillowed on his marriage bed
Softly to his soul he said:
“Though no bridegroom ever pressed
Fairer bosom to his breast,
Mortal flesh must come to clay —
Even this shall pass away.”


Fighting in a furious field,
Once a javelin pierced his shield,
Soldiers with a loud lament
Bore him bleeding to his tent.
Groaning, from his wounded side,
“Pain is hard to bear,” he cried.
“But, with patience, day by day,
Even this shall pass away.”


Towering in the public square,
Twenty cubits in the air,
Rose his status grand in stone;
And the king, disguised, unknown,
Gazing on his sculptured name,
Asked himself: “And what is fame?
Fame is but a slow decay —
Even this shall pass away.”

Struck with palsy, sere and old,
Standing at the gates of gold,
Spake him this, in dying breath:
“Life is done, and what is death?”
Then, in answer to the king,
Fell a sunbeam on the ring,
Answering, with its heavenly ray:
“Even death shall pass away.”

-BY THEODORE TILTON.